The way of the heart is not easy. It finds ways to crack you wide open. It seeks out the rocky landscape of pain, of tears, of grief, of despair. But it also brings you to joy, to openness, to connection, and wholeness.
I am standing here at the precipice of my wounding, wanting to shield my heart away from the intensity of the emotional hurricane held within. I sense it has the power to consume me, and to annihilate all that I am.
Yet my heart urges me on. The way of the heart demands it. The heart cannot be destroyed by such experiences. It enters, is buffetted and tossed around by the turbulent waters of these emotional storms. But through it all remains true, remains calm, maintains a central core of harmony that observes and takes it all in.
This is the way of the heart. The way of enlightenment. The way of humanity. The way of wisdom and understanding. The shadow of logic and intellect seeks to separate and defend. The way of the heart comes then to set you free. She is a wild thing, full of mad incoherent creativity, art, passion, imagery, and metaphor. And the trick of life is to ride the wave of the madness. Not to see it as the destination. Not to be so mesmerised by it that you forget where you are going. The way of the heart is to follow the beacon of your soul. To continue on, to journey through life as the wise man does, to embody and become moulded by the grief and the pain. Then to feel the power held within become crystallised by the joy and the childlike wonder.
My wounds are deep. And I have sat here next to them for what feels like an eternity. Weeping and wailing, tempestuous raging, lamenting why me. But the way of the heart has been beating within me all the way through. Now in the stillness, as the sound of the sobbing subsides, I can hear it. And in the moments of quiet contemplation I see her up ahead, illuminating the way forward. She has not given up. She has maintained her bearing of love. She knows the way home.
So I pick myself up once again. Look deep into her eyes. Breathe deeply. Feel love envelop all the tender parts of me. And step forward.